E-mail me at: adamrestores [AT!!] gmail.com
just change the AT to an @

Monday, May 28, 2007

Oh my god. I asked my mom about why I was circumcised.

I felt really awkward but I had to bring it up with her because I was afraid she was recommending the proceedure to her friends for their kids or something, something had to be done and it was up to me. She was reading and I came up and started talking about how I was really shy about this and wouldnt normally bring it up but I felt I had to... and said "how would you feel.... if I was unhappy with your decision to have me circumcised?" :o
that last word I could bearly speak I was so nervous

it took her a second or two to answer but she said "oh, well, we researched it and it was very important to us that we made the right choice and even though it was a 'fad ' not to do it at the time and the nurse tried to talk us out of it and I said it was none of her business we still did it and we felt it was the right choice." or something like that. I was pretty pissed because that seemed pretty naive to pick the choice that cant be undone over the one that would be okay. especially since all of my friends are intact.

I started talking to her about how it should have been my choice and I was really unhappy with it and that I felt taken advantage of. it was really easy to talk about once I got started and she was actually kind of supportive. I even told her about how I was almost done restoring !!!! :o :o she was shocked that I was different but actually impressed that I was working on it. I even told her I was wearing one of the restoring things right then and she was so amazed. she tried to talk me out of it though with how intact people give girls cancer or something and I was like "I'll take my chances thanks" and kept repeating all of the statistics from online that I know now :D

We actually got into the restoring stuff a lot because I was telling her that even though we couldnt undo the damge now I at least had a pretty generous cutting done... still had my frenulum and about half of my original inner foreskin... which Ive now stretched almost completely into a full one. I really think she is excited for me to be so happy and unique in our family. she kept asking me if I was gay though and I said no, only a little bisexual maybe. :o I was just letting it all out

I'm happy because I told her now that she can expect to see me naked around the house more often (because even though I'm naked I'm not "naked" anymore) :D when I'm done restoring I can walk around and not raise any questions, but I couldnt tell my dad because hes cut and I think he would feel embarrassed. I feel so much better but until I'm done restoring it wont be the end of this chapter of my life

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17 Comments:

Blogger Joel said...

i dont know you.. but i am proud of you for addressing that issue.

i know most guys that are cut arent willing to even THINK about what happened to them, and perhaps doing something about it.

talking to your mom about it must have been SOOO hard. i tried to convince a friend of mine not to have her son cut, but she would not listen to me.

i kind of hope her son does the same thing as you, one day. :p

2:25 AM  
Anonymous Charlie in P.V., AZ, said...

Up to now, I admired you for your tenacity in taking on such a long-term project as restoral. Now my hat is off to you for having the guts to confront your mom about this difficult issue. You apparently have a lot of good qualities, including your writing skills, which will serve you well for the rest of your life. I wish you continued success with the stretching. You are an inspiration to those who read your words.

6:43 AM  
Blogger Adam "ben-JIG" Smith said...

thanks!!

10:27 PM  
Blogger Gary Burlingame said...

Adam, Hats off is right! I know how hard this is, and you did a much better job than I did with my mother. Yes, you are an inspiration!

Thanks for having a link to my foreskin restoration page, too.

7:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Adam I came across your blog some time ago. I had thought about leaving a comment before but I didn't really have too much to say but this entry is really something.

I must say that I am impressed that some one your age has so much on the ball. Most men any age will never get to where you are realizing the loss, doing something about it, and then this confrontation. When I initially read your blog I wondered if and when your parents might find out and how they might react. Not that its any of their business anyway but it certainly crossed my mind. From what you wrote you even handled it very maturely.

Your latest entry left me with some questions about the outcome (and some other points) I hope you will reply but if you don't I understand.

1. You mentioned that you were afraid your Mom was recommending the procedure; which was the catalyst for your 'coming out'. Was this in fact the case; was she doing it?

2. If she was actively recommending or still felt circumcision was 'right' did your conversation change her position? Would she recommend it to a friend still; knowing that her own son was dissatisfied not with just a particular result but the idea of the procedure itself?
--I think this second question/point is the most important because when people discuss circumcision, in the US that is, EVERYONE knows SOMEONE who had to get it done later in life and it seems NO ONE know ANYONE who is dissatisfied. Now many of us know that is bull and now all that has changed for her too.

3. Have you 'inspired' any one else to restore or otherwise change their attitudes toward circumcision based on your blog, experiences, ect?

4. What on earth does restoring have to do with being gay? :)

5. It would be interesting to hear what your dad has to say (I am sure he'll find out) since it seems circumcised fathers leads to circumcised sons.

It really does boil my blood to hear the drivel that comes out of the mouths of seemingly intelligent peoples when they speak on this topic. Anyway keep up the good work I am sorry that you lost your choice in the matter but I am glad to see you managed to take it back. Hopefully your courage will lead others to at least see, what I think is the most important point, that the choice of circumcision should be left to the owner of the penis.

Anyway that was more than I intended so I'll finish by saying there needs to be more people like you; Good Job and Good Luck!

7:21 PM  
Blogger Aek said...

I kinda just stumbled across your blog a few days ago. I admire you for your determination and motivation, it's difficult for anyone your age to do what you're doing (and it's a little hard to believe that you are in the first place).

I don't know where in the US you're from where all your friends are intact (except maybe CA) but that's fairly rare. And restoring your foreskin has nothing to do with your sexuality, it's amusing/frustrating that your mom would ask you that.

Anyway, foreskins can be great. They're quite comfortable, and unless something's wrong with it (which is rare), it's a good thing to hold onto. Best of luck.

10:17 PM  
Blogger Annie the Corrupt said...

As a mother who just circumcised my son, if he were to come up to me years down the road and give me a dressing down for a decision I made in what I thought was in his best interest, I'd bitch slap him.

you have no right to question your mother like that. it's not as though she did it to step on your toes, she did research it, and because of her decision you disrespected and verbally attacked her. I can't believe there are guys on here condoning your actions. by the way, what's the big deal that all your friends are intact? why are you looking? it'd be as though I inspected the girls in the locker room to see if their clitorises were hooded.

my husband is circumcised, and he has never seemed to have a problem. I think your issue has more to do with a lack of self-confidence and the urge to conform.

and why are you walking around the house naked?

what a lack of discipline in your home.

3:31 AM  
Anonymous Hugh7 said...

Annie the Corrupt: I deplore all violence, but if anyone needs to smacked upside the head, it is you.

If Adam doesn't question his mother about cutting the best part of his genitals off, who will? Her intention is not the point, it's what she did (and what you did).

Your husband 1) is a sample of one, 2) may have more of a problem than he lets you know 3) or even than he knows.

Adam certainly doesn't have a problem of self-confidence or a need to conform, posting here. It's the people who cut babies and who defend it who have the need to conform. He's far better informed than you are, Annie.

It'd be "disciplined" to be ashamed of his body? Get off the grass!

You go, Adam!

5:34 PM  
Blogger Annie the Corrupt said...

How insulting for you to imply my husband has problems with his circumcision and would not talk to me about it. My husband doesn't have the standard inadequacy issues that are prevalent today in the average man. I wanted my son to have a lower risk of STDs, and that was what sold me on my decision. I'm sure it's hard for you to believe, but there are scientific studies that back up such a procedure, and as such, a mother and father's decision should not be taken lightly.

I just don't understand the shame: again, I stand by the fact that staring at other guy's genitalia and feeling the need to conform should not be condoned, which is what you have just done.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Annie the Corrupt said...

My wife posted today about circumcision and had me take a look at this blog and I feel that I should put my 2 cents in.

Most importantly.... I have had more compliments from women on the added comfort of a circumcised penis than you would believe. Apparently there are some hygiene issues with foreskin, which honestly surprises me I never leave the thing alone lol. Also I have never been terribly insecure about my penis or my body and I used to do pretty damned well with the gals. I'm 28 years old, an ex-Marine and the best advice I can give you is to quit worry'n about your pecker bro. Unless you're hung like a baby girl you should be all right and quite frankly I'm just surprised people bitch about dumb shit like circumcision. Good luck tho if it floats your boat go for it, but I wouldn't allow my son to keep his for the above stated reasons.

4:54 PM  
Anonymous rosslosangeles said...

Annie the Corrupt: Bitch-slap your child for asking a question? A little defensive are we? You sound just lovely (Your online name says it all.)

The point is that it isn't your decision to make; it is not your body. Do also want the right to lop off a daughters' clit? Perhaps the labia majora as well ?(Yes, some cultures do that, for so-called hygiene issues.) Despite your claim, Adam has every right to question whoever did this to him.

As for your husband, good for him. But then he has never had a foreskin or possibly lived in a culture where circumcision is abnormal. Some American women may like it because they have no other experience. That was not what folks told me in Europe or South America where most men are intact.

Also, there are many studies which refute the hygiene and disease claims. None of the “scientific studies” claim that circumcision prevents HIV or eliminates the need for condoms. I am here to tell you that circumcision does NOT prevent STD's. As it turns out, incidence of cervical cancer in women does not correlate with male circumcision but with number of sexual contacts. Circumcision does not affect the mechanism of the HPV virus at all; but the new Gardasil vaccine does.

At the end of the day, NO ONE has the right to mutilate another person's genitals or to amputate a healthy part of the body. PERIOD. Not even Annie the Corrupt.

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First off, Adam- congrats! I'm in the same position as you, but I never had the guts to tell my parents. I probably never will...

Second- Annie the Corrupt- I have a few things to say to you.

1) A parent who doesn't accept their child for who they are or what they want to be is a bad parent. Just because you don't like what your child is doing, they still have the right to do it -as long as its legal and they aren't hurting anyone else that is.

2)You are the one who is misinformed. There are just as many studies showing that having a foreskin doesn't increase your chances of disease. Even if these studies didn't exist, would you lop off your daughter's cervix so that she wouldn't have a slight chance of cancer later on?

I didn't think so

3) Most people don't do it out of shame. Most people do it because they want control of their life, to experience something new, and to show other people (like you) how ignorant decisions will effect their child later on.

4) Just because something is a norm in a culture, doesn't mean that it's right from a human rights point of view. If a child isn't satisfied with their parent's decision to get them circumcised (without their consent mind you), that is a textbook example of a human rights violation.

5) My motto is: "if you can't say anything inteligent, don't say anything at all."

You should stick to it and do some research before you make an uneducated response out of personal emotions.

If it offends you so much that people can make their own decisions, why are you on a blog covered in posts on that exact topic?

6) Adam was in no way trying to hurt his mother's feelings, he was just being open with her as any good son would do.

I, unlike Hugh7, have no problems with physical violence, but I prefer to have it directed to people like you who can't get off their pedestal.

Adam- good luck with your restoration. I'm not sure what your goals are or if you met them, but it sounds like you have a great start!

12:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First off, Adam- congrats! I'm in the same position as you, but I never had the guts to tell my parents. I probably never will...

Second- Annie the Corrupt- I have a few things to say to you.

1) A parent who doesn't accept their child for who they are or what they want to be is a bad parent. Just because you don't like what your child is doing, they still have the right to do it -as long as its legal and they aren't hurting anyone else that is.

2)You are the one who is misinformed. There are just as many studies showing that having a foreskin doesn't increase your chances of disease. Even if these studies didn't exist, would you lop off your daughter's cervix so that she wouldn't have a slight chance of cancer later on?

I didn't think so

3) Most people don't do it out of shame. Most people do it because they want control of their life, to experience something new, and to show other people (like you) how ignorant decisions will effect their child later on.

4) Just because something is a norm in a culture, doesn't mean that it's right from a human rights point of view. If a child isn't satisfied with their parent's decision to get them circumcised (without their consent mind you), that is a textbook example of a human rights violation.

5) My motto is: "if you can't say anything inteligent, don't say anything at all."

You should stick to it and do some research before you make an uneducated response out of personal emotions.

If it offends you so much that people can make their own decisions, why are you on a blog covered in posts on that exact topic?

6) Adam was in no way trying to hurt his mother's feelings, he was just being open with her as any good son would do.

I, unlike Hugh7, have no problems with physical violence, but I prefer to have it directed to people like you who can't get off their pedestal.

Adam- good luck with your restoration. I'm not sure what your goals are or if you met them, but it sounds like you have a great start!

12:33 PM  
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