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Monday, May 28, 2007

Oh my god. I asked my mom about why I was circumcised.

I felt really awkward but I had to bring it up with her because I was afraid she was recommending the proceedure to her friends for their kids or something, something had to be done and it was up to me. She was reading and I came up and started talking about how I was really shy about this and wouldnt normally bring it up but I felt I had to... and said "how would you feel.... if I was unhappy with your decision to have me circumcised?" :o
that last word I could bearly speak I was so nervous

it took her a second or two to answer but she said "oh, well, we researched it and it was very important to us that we made the right choice and even though it was a 'fad ' not to do it at the time and the nurse tried to talk us out of it and I said it was none of her business we still did it and we felt it was the right choice." or something like that. I was pretty pissed because that seemed pretty naive to pick the choice that cant be undone over the one that would be okay. especially since all of my friends are intact.

I started talking to her about how it should have been my choice and I was really unhappy with it and that I felt taken advantage of. it was really easy to talk about once I got started and she was actually kind of supportive. I even told her about how I was almost done restoring !!!! :o :o she was shocked that I was different but actually impressed that I was working on it. I even told her I was wearing one of the restoring things right then and she was so amazed. she tried to talk me out of it though with how intact people give girls cancer or something and I was like "I'll take my chances thanks" and kept repeating all of the statistics from online that I know now :D

We actually got into the restoring stuff a lot because I was telling her that even though we couldnt undo the damge now I at least had a pretty generous cutting done... still had my frenulum and about half of my original inner foreskin... which Ive now stretched almost completely into a full one. I really think she is excited for me to be so happy and unique in our family. she kept asking me if I was gay though and I said no, only a little bisexual maybe. :o I was just letting it all out

I'm happy because I told her now that she can expect to see me naked around the house more often (because even though I'm naked I'm not "naked" anymore) :D when I'm done restoring I can walk around and not raise any questions, but I couldnt tell my dad because hes cut and I think he would feel embarrassed. I feel so much better but until I'm done restoring it wont be the end of this chapter of my life

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Sunday, May 06, 2007

This is taking so long!!!!!!!

I've been restoring for 1 year and I feel like I'm only a quarter way there. So far I have a lot of progress made but its hard to tell until youve reached a milestone because the skin will stay back and wrinkle until then. and when its wrinkled you cant tell how much is there

I basically wear the catiiq 24 hours a day (except if it comes off when I sleep but I put it on looser so it doesnt now ) and feel pretty good about my methods so I hope that by christmas I will be half way there

When I want to end is when I have a smooth sheath covering everything when its hard. but that will take a long time

Right now I'm pretty happy with how things are during the daytime because when I swim I dont even need to use tape to keep the skin over the glans anymore because I have so much skin that I even have an overhang now. It shows through my speedo when it gets wet which I think is kind of cool but a lot of people look at it and I hope they dont think my whole thing is that small. if you look closer you can see a smooth, skin covered glans then the overhang but people in america dont always know what a foreskin looks like.

sorry for not posting more often! school is getting out soon and I will try to be online to post more